Judal wanted to run. God, he wanted to run. Flee the alley that stank of blood and fear, keep running until his head was clear, and never return. However that wasn’t an option – Both because he couldn’t leave Kaneki and also because his legs seemed to be having trouble working. That realization left another streak of panic lacing through his system.
You can’t run, you can’t hide, he’s going to kill you and–No. No. He couldn’t afford to think that way.
Kaneki was his friend. Maybe even more than that – Judal cared about him, so he had to give him the benefit of the doubt here. That was a task proving incredibly difficult though, those irrational thoughts rattling around inside his head as he struggled to keep another bitter round of bile inside his stomach.Hand still clamped over his mouth and nose, Judal lifted his head at the sound of sobbing from the half ghoul, concern still managing to interfere with the fear he should have been feeling. Kaneki obviously wasn’t okay, and Judal wasn’t quite sure why. Was it because he had been interrupted? He hadn’t meant to upset the other.
He made to move towards the mouth of the alley, to fresh air and a freedom from the gruesome scene, but his legs buckled under him, and he sank fully to the ground, trembling turning into full on panicked half-sobs.
“I can’t, I can’t,” he gasped, attempting to breathe normally.
“I’m sorry, I can’t… Please, don’t–”
The end of that sentence caught in his throat.
Please don’t kill me.
Kaneki’s body finally sagged against the wall when he picked up on the sounds of Judal getting to his feet, relief temporarily winning out against his steadily growing hunger. Yes, run away... Slowly, Kaneki let himself uncurl from the ball he’d drawn himself into. Get as far away as you can..
“You smell so good..” The words were barely a whisper on the half-ghoul’s lips as his head lolled against the wall, mismatched eyes fluttering shut as Kaneki finally allowed himself a deep breath.
‘Thud’
Something akin to a strangled groan tumbled from Kaneki’s lips when he heard Judal collapse onto the concrete. Dammit Judal.. The one time he needs Judal to actually listen and cooperate with him. His mind vaguely registered the panicked sobs coming from Judal, but by this point the individual words were lost on him. The relief he’d felt earlier had long since disappeared, leaving Kaneki with little else to grasp at in hopes of grounding himself.
He sounds so afraid.. (”Of course he does.”) Rize’s voice echoed in his ears, decievingly soft compared to her normal taunting tone. (”Anyone would be afraid of being eaten.”)
Eaten...? (”Yes, eaten. You’re hungry aren’t you?”) Fingertips ghosted along the length of his jaw, sending a chill down Kaneki’s spine that did nothing to dull the burn of his hunger.
Yes... (”Then eat him, you’ll feel better if you do.”)
“But.. I can’t..” (”Why not? If he smells so nice even in a place like this, just imagine how good me must taste..”)
Tears were beginning to prickle at the corners of his eyes again, but Kaneki didn’t seem aware of it.
(”He’s right over there, just waiting for you.”) Rize cooed in his ear. (”Go on... take a bite.”)
“Just.. a bite...” Kaneki muttered dazedly. “Just enough to make it stop...” To stop the pain, stop the hunger, stop the voices. Just enough for one moment of peace... that couldn’t be too much to ask for. Slowly, Kaneki got himself back onto his feet and crossed the alley to where Judal still laid out on the ground.
(”That’s it, just let go..”)
With Rize’s voice echoing inside his head, it was easy enough to roll Judal onto his back; one trembling hand clutching at the fabric of his t-shirt and tugging it aside to expose his shoulder. Easy to ignore the futile flailing of limbs as Judal fought against him, the absolute horror reflected in the other’s eyes as Kaneki leaned down over him, licking his lips one final time before the last thread holding him together unraveled and Kaneki sank his teeth into Judal’s skin.
(”Devour him.”)