some oddly specific aus that no one asked for:
- “our grandfathers were mortal enemies during high school and they found out we go to the same school and keep trying to get us to sabotage each other and you’re super into it but like… i kind of have a huge crush on you so i’m having a hard time??” au
- “i walked into this restaurant and you thought i was your blind date and i just kind of went with it because i don’t want to eat alone” au
- “i’m a cab driver and you’re late to a business meeting and you are literally the most demanding pretentious piece of shit i’ve ever had the displeasure of driving but i also kind of want to fuck you in that suit” au
- “i started a bird watching club at school and you are the only one who showed up at the first meeting so now i love you” au
- “you’re my neighbor and your grandparents are coming to visit and you’ve apparently been feeding them a lie about how you’re dating me to get them off your case so could i please be your pretend date for like two days you will pay me in concert tickets and mac and cheese” au
- “my friend told me lick your mailbox on a dare and when i went to do the dare you were leaving the house to get your mail but i didn’t notice so now you’re staring at me as i lick your mailbox” au
- “i fell asleep on you and drooled all over your shoulder in a theater during a really bad movie and you were too nice to shove me off” au
- “my best friend owns a restaurant and you wrote a bad review of it in the local paper so it has become my goal to track you down and fight you” au
- “i accidentally set your plant on fire and i felt super guilty so i went to the store to buy you another plant but they ran out of the plant that you had and i didn’t know what other kind of plant you liked so i may or may not have bought you enough plants to fill a small greenhouse?” au
I want to RP real shit in a ship. I want the fights, the tears, the late nights with pillowtalk, the dumb discussion and small intimate moments, the duties and the nights ordering food because they’re too lazy to cook anything. i want disagreements and fooling around, being silly. i want the trips to places, to an amusement park, to a boring art museum one of them wanted to go, to the mall, roadtrips, lazy mornings and early, hurried mornings. little scares, silly texting when they’re apart, whining about things to eachother, night cuddles and nights where they don’t even touch because of a disagreement. I want the cute nights in, and the nights out. I want to see the pairing grow, I want it to take time and be complex, i want it to be factible, and not a fairytale. I want the good and the bad that comes with a relationship.
kink; spitting blood out of my mouth, muttering ‘you fuck’ before aggressively making out w u against a cement wall
i love the platonic relationship between the main female protagonist and her male friend that would do anything for her not because of some unrequited love but because of loyalty and honor and FRIENDship honestly thats the type of shit i eat up so fast
Not every love is sweet and kind
Sometimes, love is dangerous
Poisonous, addictive, obsessive
Leaving emotional, mental and physical scars
Don’t want to walk away, refuse to let go
To need, no matter how much it hurts
To know the same pain is returned
Because some don’t want just the sweet
They crave the bitter too
- I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
- One of us thinks this is a date but the other thinks it’s an informal job interview
- I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
- We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
- We took each other’s underwear from the laundromat by mistake
- I got drunk and sent a sexy naked pic to my ex but I sent it to you instead by mistake
- We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
- I’m calling to cancel our date because I’m actually in the ER right now, sorry. …I mean, sure, I guess you can come down here, but… okay…
- We had sex at the office party but we’re both workaholics so we don’t normally date
- We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
- You bought me at a charity auction and you’re probably a serial killer
- You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole
- Your appointment with a sexual therapist was right after mine and we got talking in the waiting room
- We’re on a blind date, but wait a moment… aren’t you that guy who gave me a hand job at a Renaissance Faire a year ago?… what do you MEAN “WHICH ONE”?
- We both picked the same power ballad at karaoke so we sang a duet
- We’re both trying to take advantage of the unlimited appetizers deal on separate dates at TGI Fridays and I got the mozzarella sticks and I’m on my sixth plate and I want to die, can I PLEASE swap you for some of your wings?
au in which muse a and muse b have been neighbors for years, their apartment doors face to face on the highest floor of their building. in summer it gets pretty hot up there, so they started leaving their doors open to get some more fresh air in. that eventually led to several agreements about what music is playing (since it can be heard in both apartments, with the doors open), how they get their pets to like each other, etc. soon their apartments morphed into one, the constantly open doors making it easy to get from muse a’s place to muse b’s place to borrow some sugar, get the runaway cat back, change the radio channel or simple eat over there, because the afternoon sun is burning right into your own living room. they don’t realize that they are basically living together until muse a suddenly starts dating someone and muse b finds themself in front of a closed door..
..and doesn’t like it at all.
•Its like 3am and I’m exhausted and I can hear you raging next door about failing at putting an ikea bed together so here I am helping you put it together and holy shit you’re cute.
•You keep falling asleep in the lectures and I keep waking you up so you don’t get in trouble, so to make sure you stay awake a brought you coffee with my number on it.
•You were the only one in class that got my TV show reference so hey wanna marathon?
•We both reached for the last box of fruit loops and I don’t care that we’re both adults I with fight you.
•We write notes to each other on the desk we share at different times and I never knew who I was talking to until I saw you stay behind after class to write on it and holy shit yoU’RE HOT.
•I’m really sorry, I suck at dancing and you’re suppose to teach me but you’re really cute and keep distracting me so I keep stepping on you’re feet I’m so sorry.
•Our schools are rivals and were on their sport teams and we get injured and spend time in the school infirmary and hey you’re pretty cool and wtf are we a modern Romeo and Juliet?
•Your window was open and you live across from me so I saw and heard you in your underwear, singing and dancing ridiculously and I really wanna get to know you cause you’re pretty hot and I might have a crush on you.
•We hate each other but apparently our teachers ship us and make us partner up all the time and sit next to each other and for the love of God if you don’t shut your mouth I’m gonna shove you on the desk and sNOG THE HELL OUT OF YOU.
•We’re both teachers and I ship these two students but you ship one with another student so let me just tell you why my ship is meant to be.
•My cat keeps breaking into your apartment next to mine so I tied a note to its collar to apologise and you write back so we keep exchanging cat notes and you’re pretty funny.
•wE ARE YOUTUBE RIVALS AND OUR FANS ALL SHIP US
•You’re parents are extremely overprotective and hired me to be your bodyguard.
•We have to partner up in our health class to look after a robot baby and oH GOD ITs crYING again pleASE JUST STOP WHy did we agree to tHIS HELL.
•I’m a punk singer and am hiding from fans in a florists and you work here and are snarky and funny and are adorable go out with me?
Some more Funny AU’s
- “Almost all the good seats are taken at this movie but luckily there just happens to be one in the middle the unlucky part is that it’s right next to you and I really hate you but I also really want that seat and your smug face says you know it too.”
- “We’re in debate class and a calm talk about tax quickly turned into a full out screaming match about what’s on the school lunch menu today.”
- “We’re rivals, but not just rivals, we’re rivals with benefits. So while I may want to put hot sauce on all your food I hate the other teams captain way more and am willing to teach you how to beat them, though it might just cost you.”
- “I’m squeamish about heights and during a pool party you keep trying to put me on your shoulders so we can play chicken except I keep kicking you in the face instead of the opposing team.”
- “You accidentally snap me a pic of you in the shower which is fine, cause accidents happen, except now I can’t look at you because I keep wondering if it’s a shower or a grower.”
- “We go to the same laundry mat and I’m switching clothes from the washer to the drier when you ask if this is mine and when I turn around you’re holding my secret skimpy lace underwear with the boy on the butt that no one is supposed to know about.”
- “We’re next door neighbors who have never met and one day I’m singing in the shower when I hear you through the walls ask me to go an octave higher before joining me and I guess we’re harmonizing to part of your world, at least you have a nice voice.”
- “I’m just finishing using the dorm showers when you come in with your latest partner and start having shower sex in the stall next to me and this really awkward and I’m to embarrassed to leave. Finally when you and your partner do finish and they leave I try to sneak out as fast as I can. Only you’ve come out at the same time and this is even more embarrassing cause now you know I’ve been there listening the entire time.”